To Ekere.

Hey Lover, Hey Best friend.
I know you want Me to be strong, but I swear I'm trying. But I can't stop to think how much better my life would be with you by my side, five years and I still hear you laugh. I'm alone as much as I'd like to run from the fact. I haven't let anyone in as much as you were.
Our theme song , " Always sister's, Always Friend's" plays in my head all day long. I wish we get second chances, I want so badly to talk to you again, I wish I could come visit.
How's Dad?, hope he's not worrying about us. I miss you everyday and I try to hold back the tears, I feel like if I let it all out it'll be like when i first heard and I wouldn't see for a week because of how much I'd cry. I hope I'm making you proud or at least I'm on the right path. I'd give my limbs to see you smile at me, more so I'd give up my all to renege one of those our moments.
I remember the last visiting day you came for that you almost had an accident, so we cried for long still hugging each other, priceless moments. It hurts like hell Kelu, I speak our secret language now with Emem, taught Iboro a little too. How I miss those random names you called me off the top of your head. I miss going to the salon with you and watching them try to relax your hair that just wouldn't slip.
A part of me died that day, oh trust me I've tried to revive it. I need to let out the pain so enough, I think I'm hurting everyone around me with it. Still haven't got a boyfriend yet, bad luck with that I guess, but just for you I'd let my heart soar one more time.
My body shakes when I think of it, so I don't get to be your chief-bridesmaid and we won't get to write books together and produce those movies we said we would. My heart is still bleeding from the pain, time hasn't healed anything.
So our kids won't get to see themselves, they won't swap houses like we said they would on weekend's. I know you're reading this and I know you wish you could hug me and smack me at the same time.
You were only 24 Ekere, with your whole life planned ahead of you, no one would hear your beautiful voice the one that I still hear, no one would drown in the sea of your words. You died with too much on your insides. I remember how you promised me I'd  grow up into a beautiful young woman, and that I shouldn't eat too much oh that my body was perfect. You just knew exactly  how to make me smile. I miss you. You're still going to tell me why you left .
Then your cooking, damn!, how you'd let me sit on the table tops and watch you cook while we sing. And then you'd come out sweating but happy because everyone was going to eat. You also never allowed us forget you studied law, with your queens English; you were like the whole package.
Remember that long list you told me to write in preparation for your first salary, I really wanted that to happen too.
I guess you're gone, but you're still forever in my heart though. Now I gotta go make you proud and hey guess who loves GOD now? That's right me.
I miss you and if I keep writing I'd end up at the publishing house.
Take care of Dad for us, ask him if he got the letter I wrote him.
Have fun in heaven my love, and Iboro is still broken.
                                             Your baby,
                                                Edikan.
PS: I still have all the letters you wrote me.