Life of a Reject

If I was to ever give my life a movie title, it would most definitely be "life of a reject". I've waited years and years earnestly waiting for the day when I breathe the air of "popular acknowledgement", you know like be in the number and all of that, listen okay? I know I was born to be different and stand out but it feels like no one wants to be altogether associated with me; like I'm some sort of bad air or ill fitted clothing a living breathing human repellant.

Before you go on and be a motivational speaker, I'm tired of being invisible, go out and have smiles thrown at me from a distance and have no real connection with anyone, I'm tired!  It is me having to convince myself that I'm enough while also convincing hopefully a lot more other people through my writings, it is me hoping I'm not the problem while also breaking myself later on by telling myself it's also my fault.

Like this isn't all enough as I decide to swim in my inadequacies, someone comes along and decides to pick me up and place me in a water jar of appreciation and leaves me along the way hungry and starving, then I have to struggle back into my sea of inadequacy because it's better in there than out here without love and someone to lead me to a safe place "self-love".

So, but I have questions, am I to live a life undeserving of love? Am I to still lead people right while I sink in despair? Would I ever be enough for someone? Don't I need true friendships as much as anyone does? Oh my bad it's the life of a reject...