Letter to Marriage

Like every typical girl i've imagined my wedding day, but more so my life as a married woman. I'm certain i'd meet a man who like me would want an uncommon wedding, one that wouldn't allow for the vanity of African parents. 

              You know, i earnestly hope you make it play out as perfectly as it is scripted in my head; waking up to my best-friend, occasional breakfast in bed, watching my favourite little humans grow and just generally BE-ing. Being a poet i have held on to the beauty of a forever kind of love, signing up to walk the ends of what may be a seamless life, not oblivious to one another's faults, but in a boat of friendship that makes the ride fun even through turbulence. I mean don't get me wrong i still am scared. Scared of spending the rest of my life with someone (maybe it's just a normal feeling you feel in your 20s, and no i'm not a commitment phobe). But i just have this old fashioned orientation where i think i need to marry my bestfriend and sadly my generation doesn't want to "take things slowly" and that really bothers me because i know how deep i am willing to swim in the name of love and no one i've met so far even wants to know the temperature of the water.

What do you advice?

                I'm also at the point where i'm afraid history might repeat itself, as a product of a broken home with a bag full of heart-break experiences i'm almost certain you would be unfair to me as well. You can't blame me. And the last thing my heart needs is another dive down pain road. I'm not even sure if I'm getting into this because of companionship or if it's for the absurd reason that my biological clock is ticking. Am I even getting married for me or my family?

                  I'm also still of the opinion that a man who doesn't love GOD cannot love, likewise a man who loves GOD will love you right and i think that makes me safe. If and when i get married i'm definitely going for the the latter. 

                  Anyway, before i lose myself over-thinking every little thing, as per usual, I'll get off to go pray and prepare myself for the man GOD will send.

                                        Sincerely yours 22 year old with ticking biological clock